A Year Old Graduate and still Dreaming Big!

And after years of beating around the bush to whether or not I should take the leap, I can finally say that "I FINALLY hold a degree" and it has now been a full year since I do. Why write about it now? Because all the shimmer is now gone and I am calmer than ever, ready for more reflection.

I must admit, I never truly felt I belong as an academic. The education system has somewhat failed my expectations during my early childhood. Like many, I had my fair share with GREAT educators and others... let's just say are the ones that drove my interest further away from loving school in general. The system had failed to acknowledge most of my best qualities and instead assessed me on criterias which are now meaningless in my everyday life. Back then the prescriptive methods seemed to be working for most individuals but... not me. Well so I thought, until I grew older and realised that the system did not fail me at all. It was not my time to learn from just books.

Years passed by until I could grasp myself with the thought of starting over again. I didn't know where to go and how to start but quickly I found a way how to celebrate my education in a different manner. So things have progressed and changed from my time till this next chapter. Less prescriptive yes but still rigid for my kind of learning. I passed, graduated and hip hip hurrah I made it back into the Early Years field with glee.

BUT that is when I truly LEARNT something about myself. The years I spent working the more I was able to fall in love learning. The more I was learning the more I wanted to be part of the journey and the more I craved for it the more it drove me to be better. Back to the books for my degree journey and at the age of 36 I finally have a piece of paper which states that I have accomplished a First Class Degree.

BUT.... since I am still in the field and while I am now in possession of a piece of paper stating that I have a degree... I still feel as if I am underestimated, misunderstood and above all unappreciated. I should stand tall with pride, showing off my accomplished outcomes but yet there is something in me that is not fully satisfied. Why? Because the degree I hold in my hand now is indifferent to the accomplishmemts that I did during my junior lyceum examinations, O'levels, A'levels or H.N.D. It is just another piece of paper that puts a label to my current achievement but not my true full accomplishments.

I have been assessed, examined and tested upon so many different levels but in reality, does a mark signify my true worth? Does an A+, an A, a B or a C change the way I feel about my profession? Does a distinction, merit or pass fulfill my satisfactory position? Do I feel any less confident about what I do and most importantly who I am?

I found a handful of people who look at me the same way I look at my students. To these handful I was not a number, a grade or a mark. I was an inspiration, a critical thinker, a problem solver, a teams player and yes sometimes a handful too. But to these handful of people I have a degree because to them I mattered. They took time to listen in, debate with me, network, share and commute. They threw away the traditional ways of teachings and made my days memorable. We built connections and understandment. Together they helped me build my character, enhance my teaching pedagogy and above all transform myself into a better version of myself.

So yes I am still a recent graduate (a year old) with a degree which means nothing more than a piece of paper that truly and honestly has not changed the status of my work load, my working conditions nor my love of teaching. It did not change the way how I see the system nor did it change the way I wake up ever morning grumbling for a brew. It did not change the way my colleagues, my peers nor my family see me. And most of all it didn't change the way I still mix up and have ooppsiee moments.

BUT as a one year old graduate I have learnt that no matter how old you are, no matter how hard it has been and no matter how many times you have failed, at the end you have to prove nothing to no one but yourself. You would never be fully satisfied and you would always want more because life is full of more wonders to explore. I got my degree YES... but that does not complete me. I still witness how some actions keep failing our future, how we still lack certain values to appreciate the littlest things and most importantly how we may be failing to recognise potential dreamers who will one day create a brighter future. From theories to practicality there is yet a huge gap to draw a fine line of what works and what does not for each individual, but in the meantime we need to remember that every dream is important, be it little or big. It is why we must not stop dreaming ourselves too, because for what we dream we may accomplish in due time.

Best wishes to all the dreamers who are now rejoicing and planning their next future goals. Remember there is always something bigger to dream about and it is never impossible if you work for it in your own time.