Summer Drifts and Winter Thoughts!

We are in August! Another summer is drawing to a close, this time I felt it fly by quicker than ever. Probably it is because I kept myself occupied with alternative tasks. You know, the kind that you do not do during winter and have been pending since forever.

I have travelled and still planning more travels. I feasted and partied hard. I managed to rekindle friendships and build stronger ones but what I also did is focus my attention to new research, enhanced my pedagogical views and nevertheless stayed grounded with thoughts of what winter may bring ahead.

Not knowing your class is a fear in itself, so I prepare mentally for the emotional rollercoaster ride which is inevitable. It will tag along fatigue but somehow it will all look great once the wheels start rolling. I miss my routines, daily wake up calls, the hustle and bustle of getting on time to school and my lectures. Somehow I thrive around panic which later exhausts me to the core. The blessing and curses of being who I am make me feel that both summer and winter aligns me with my mental healthcare.

Summer is where I focus on my family, friends and myself. It is where I get my goodnight sleep even during the hot summer heatwaves. Summer brings the sunshine for positive vibes and it rages the rest of my body with the ultimate fatigue. My sickness levels decrease because I am less tense, less stressed, less overthinking. Getting the best care is in summertime, when I have no class to worry about for taking a day off or feeling guilty of not producing enough. This is the time I enjoy the sarcasm of family and friends who seem jealous of my time away from school. Enjoying the bickering and casual arguments of how lucky we are to spend summer different than others. Yet again I keep reminding them how we miss a whole lot during winter, in particular time to heal, grow and understand different possibilities which change constantly through evolution. This is the time to restore and give myself permission to slow down without holding grudges. It is the time where my body and mind can finally breathe.

Winter is my safe haven. I have been always in love with the cold, the rain, the mist. Not so much the wind to be honest but it reminds me to blow away the negatives around me and focus on the lucky paths I have ahead. I love the cheerful people I work with, the ones that need that extra push and even the ones that make me nag. They make my winter wholesome, busy and above all occupied. Most of all I love the children who make my mornings worth waking up for. The "I love you" and " You are my favourite teacher" vibes. Winter fills a missing hole in my heart, the kind which in summer sometimes feels numb without. It is the season that gives me purpose and a place of belonging even through the chaos of it all.

Nevertheless, winter will hold the passion, the drive, the care, while summer brings calm, collectiveness and relaxation. Without both seasons I feel lost. Autumn and Spring are just fillers to what is yet to come. For me, they are just there, like the people and tasks which are present but not as equally important to me. Just like how the Autumn leaves fall and Spring brings fresh blossoms, they prepare for an end or a new beginning. Hence I choose winter to define the ending of boredom and summer as a much needed time to regenerate.

Transitioning from sofas and home office to leg workouts and messy plays. The summer days are decreasing and somehow I am glad I got the chance to explore it the way I did. The older I get, the more I understand my life purpose, my worth of living and most importantly my time well spent on this planet. Balancing the ohs and ahs with self reflections which not necessarily bring out the strength in me, but also let me be vulnerable at times well needed.

Summer reduces my stress and gives me space to recover while winter gives me an emotional stimulation and purpose. Neither is sufficient on its own. That's probably why I feel a strong connection to both. Both the exhaustion and the recovery have a place in the life I have chosen to live. So the end of my summer routine and the introduction to my winter one, is a return to a version of myself that I genuinely value. Summer heals me but winter completes me and that is my way forward ✨️